16. What to do? What to do?

What to do? What to do?

As I grew up as a child I pretty much always imagined myself as a businessman. I liked looking good in a suit. I liked the respect that I saw other powerful businessmen receive. I liked the idea of simply being better than everyone else, the idea of being at the top of the food chain. And of course I loved the idea of having a lot of money, which in my mind was inevitable for anyone going into business.

However, this semester I have learned that I really do have an intense love for most subjects in science. I love dispelling the fictitious and erroneous ideas that I have carried for so long and then grasping firmly onto the newer and truer ones. I have been afraid of the infamous work load that engineers have to go through though. One thing that I have realized lately though is what it means or at least how important it is to not be afraid of hard work. This is just something that I have to be ok with.

So here is the deal though. I don't know weather or not I want to be a sweet business man that has a huge network and knows how to grow a lucrative and successful business so that I can spur forward the scientific discoveries. I feel like apple does this. It is strictly a business but spurs innovation and discovery more than most companies. Or to go into the sciences become a a beast as math and discovering things myself, and then try to be a businessman on the side, to make my inventions, discoveries, etc. lucrative and change the world that way. 

I don't really see myself as the genius that is coming up crazy cool stuff in the science world but as someone that creates an environment in which I am able to unlock 100% of the genius that is there. Inspiring others to do more than they would do themselves without the outside incentive (weather that be monetary, or simply encouragement and faith in the as brilliant people). 

 At the same time, this semester I have come to realize my feelings toward business. So far, the general idea of selling things, moving money around, and making a lucrative business is sounding less and less cool.  That being said, I still want to be like the people that are in those positions. The people that I admire most and aspire to be like have done things pertaining to business and entrepreneurship and were very successful in it but at the same time very generous. I love the idea of becoming persuasive and likable like those people that I admire.