20. Conclusion: Wrapping it up

The end has arrived. I have learned a lot about myself this semester. I really didn't understand how much we as humans have to really write something out to understand it. It doesn't seem that way, I always feel that I have all of my thoughts all figured out and in order, but it is not until they are down on paper that they make any sense in reality. Especially when it comes to trying to get others  to try and see what I am thinking, it is just necessary in everything that we do.

This is definitely one of the big reasons, in my opinion, that we are counseled from the heavens to keep a journal. I think that with the clarity of thought that writing down our feelings and experiences provides us with a double benefit.

1. We can more fully see the hand of the Lord in our lives as we force ourselves to ponder on the events of the recent past—both internally and externally. This allows us to appreciate the Lord and to come to see the eternal truths that exist in the world that we live in.
2. It is harder for satan to cloud the mind and make us see inaccurately which causes doubt and fear. Dispelling these two things from our lives is very much worth the time that you might put towards writing your thoughts.

I think that my ap english teacher once told us about a quote that puts this whole thought into one nice line: 

"How can I know what I think until I see what I write"

I am glad to have been in this class. I think that it is far too easy to just do what is necessary, but even without what I would call "high intensity" or "harsh" grading I have been inspired to try and make the most of my writing, simply because of the personal benefits of creating something awesome.

That's the end. Take care.

19. Keeping your audience in mind.

 Cool. So I am just sort of brainstorming about what I am going to do for my final. I am considering (as you may have already guessed by the title) presenting my ideas and the things that I have learned about keeping your audience in mind.

For the most important part is the beginning. If I can simply create a captivating beginning I think the rest will go smoothly. I can just go over some basics about why it is important to keep your audience in mind and a few techniques to do so.

Here is one thought. This was an activity that I was made to do a while back to try and understand another. Get in pairs of two, get within two feet of your partner and look into their eyes (I had to do it for 5 minutes, but there isn’t time for that, so more like 1.5 min) without looking away. I am going to ask them to not just focus on the eye-ball, as is commonly done to shrink from the uncomfort of the situation, and then I am going to ask them to try and put themselves in the shoes of the person as much as you can.After doing this for a while

1.   It is super uncomfortable

2.   You learn a lot about that person and you didn’t even have to talk to them

This would apply to learning as much about your audience before you even address them. We should all do the equivalent before we write a paper, try to look into their eyes and see life as they see. It is going to be venerable but it will make you more effective.

After the exercise I might ask the class to think about if that were to help them if now they were going to try and relate to this person in any way. (ask them on a date if that applys, to share some candy etc.)

18. Living up to expectations

I remember that I said to one of my very good (girl) friends not too long ago in a light hearted manner while I was at her house late at night and didn't want to go home because I was tired
"Let's just call it a sleepover. I'll see you in the morning" as I playfully turned towards their guest bedroom.

She responded with so very little hesitation that she must have had this thought previous to that moment, and said "stop messing around, you know that you would actually do that, even though you know that nothing inappropriate would happen, even though you may be comfortable with the idea, you are too worried about what you brother would think of you tomorrow" My immediate reaction was to tell her

"No. I don't need to prove anything to anyone. God knows everything, what he thinks of me is important but what other people think of me simply doesn't matter" but I just sat there for a moment—Pondering. She was right. I cared what my brother though of me. I cared what my mom thought of me. I cared way too much. I craved for their respect. It wasn't only them that I wanted respect from, it  was from everyone that was important to me in any way. And according to my actions I cared more about that than actually doing what I wanted to do in many cases. I suddenly realized that my pride and desire to make others have a certain image of me was acting as a prison to what I wanted to do in many ways.

I'm not sure what things I would have done differently looking back on my life now that I think about it, but I just had the realization that I have this feeling.

Now I am thinking, maybe it's just important to think what God thinks of me. But is that even right? Should my charitable acts be inspired by hoping that anyone else will think better of me, even if that be God? I think that that should come from somewhere else. I guess it's actually pretty easy, all good should be inspired by love. Love for God, or Love for men. Charity never faileth. Right? Cool. I need to work on that.

17. The cool part of business

 What I think is most appealing about perusing the business path is the ability to do good to those around me. One of the common themes that I saw throughout my business management class is that the speakers that had the most alluring and attractive attributes placed their highest values on doing good to all that they could. They found joy in being charitable. They focused on helping customers have a good experience. They focused on helping their employees be the best citizens, fathers, mothers, grandmothers, and grandfathers, husbands, and wives that they could be. Being an entrepreneur seems to make that field of influence the widest.

Another aspect of business that just pulls me towards it is the working with people inside my own company or team to do more. Inspiring others might be the hardest thing that there is, but also the most gratifying. I think it is cool to to make another realize their own talents and abilities. To be able to have the vision to see in another what they themselves cannot see—that is quality worth having.

That being said, I'm not sure that I really love being a salesman. Maybe I do,  I can't really tell yet. And I might really love going in to do something in Engineering. I Also think that it would be cool to major in English. Weirdly enough, that sounds fun to me. Ok it doesn’t really sound fun, but being good at writing and communicating is attractive to me, and I feel as thought that goes in accordance with my patriarchal blessing a little better than a lot of things. From there I would like to get my MBA. Why? I’m not really sure, but at least that opens up a lot more of the business world to me, which is still intriguing. Getting my MBA also  leaves my options for going into law if if want. Where did law come from? The only reason I say that because I think that it would be fun, always learning in a lot of depth about something different all of the time. I have a passion for learning new things.

It is a scrambled and unsure plan, but it is what is going through Gabe's mind.

16. What to do? What to do?

What to do? What to do?

As I grew up as a child I pretty much always imagined myself as a businessman. I liked looking good in a suit. I liked the respect that I saw other powerful businessmen receive. I liked the idea of simply being better than everyone else, the idea of being at the top of the food chain. And of course I loved the idea of having a lot of money, which in my mind was inevitable for anyone going into business.

However, this semester I have learned that I really do have an intense love for most subjects in science. I love dispelling the fictitious and erroneous ideas that I have carried for so long and then grasping firmly onto the newer and truer ones. I have been afraid of the infamous work load that engineers have to go through though. One thing that I have realized lately though is what it means or at least how important it is to not be afraid of hard work. This is just something that I have to be ok with.

So here is the deal though. I don't know weather or not I want to be a sweet business man that has a huge network and knows how to grow a lucrative and successful business so that I can spur forward the scientific discoveries. I feel like apple does this. It is strictly a business but spurs innovation and discovery more than most companies. Or to go into the sciences become a a beast as math and discovering things myself, and then try to be a businessman on the side, to make my inventions, discoveries, etc. lucrative and change the world that way. 

I don't really see myself as the genius that is coming up crazy cool stuff in the science world but as someone that creates an environment in which I am able to unlock 100% of the genius that is there. Inspiring others to do more than they would do themselves without the outside incentive (weather that be monetary, or simply encouragement and faith in the as brilliant people). 

 At the same time, this semester I have come to realize my feelings toward business. So far, the general idea of selling things, moving money around, and making a lucrative business is sounding less and less cool.  That being said, I still want to be like the people that are in those positions. The people that I admire most and aspire to be like have done things pertaining to business and entrepreneurship and were very successful in it but at the same time very generous. I love the idea of becoming persuasive and likable like those people that I admire.

15. Hare Krishna

In contrast to my last post, I have a friend who is similar to me in that he loves learning about and experiencing different cultures who once said that as he was on his mission it dawned on him that his "goal" was to convert everyone he possibly could to Mormonism. Obvious, right? However, he realized that if he actually achieved this goal on a global scale, he wouldn't really like it. Why? Well, his thoughts were that if everybody on the planet earth was converted to Mormonism, it would diminish the overall diversity of the world which was something that he really enjoyed.

To a certain extent, I understand where my friend is coming from. I really enjoyed listening to and simply experiencing the different way of belief that the people at this temple had. I like to see the similarities and differences that existed between their beliefs and mine. In many ways, it strengthened my testimony of the LDS church. Obviously that's not a bad thing. 

In much greater and more significant ways I disagree with the mentality of my friend. 

1. I don't see why believing in the story of the boy Joseph Smith, having the true priesthood power to bind families on earth and in heaven, having an increased and more powerful relationship with the God who knows all things, having the ability to see all events on the earth from a perspective of eternity, having a hope to become something much, much greater than we currently are, knowing that we have a champion Savior that can right our wrongs and give a brightness to the future has to diminish any amount of diversity. I do see that, yes, there will be considerably less weird doing-of-things because of some mysterious superstition. There would be less cows in India because they would no longer be sacred, but they would be, and less buildings that looked like the one behind me in that picture. This, however, leads me to my second point: the trade-off is totally worth it.
2. I think that if everybody could more fully abide by the churches  standards of sexual morality and the way that we treat our body (word of wisdom) to name just two, the world would convert into a place so very much more majestically beautiful, and enjoyable to live in that any lack of cultural difference would cease to be important. Our prisons would be almost vacated, the over all amount of fear in the world if it could be measured somehow would plummet, the list goes on and on. I can not tell from where I stand, any foreseeable downfall to the entire human race understanding and believing the teachings taught in the church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints.

14. A Little More Culture

Lately, as I have mentioned before, I have been filled with this craving to know more about other cultures, and other religions in particular. I think this began on my mission when I really began to feel as though the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints really was God's institution here on earth to help all of his sons and daughters return to him, happy and clean. I couldn't help but wonder why so many other churches existed. Most of them didn't seem very evil to me, in fact, they did a lot of good things, and often helped me out in a lot of ways because they gave a lot of people that I taught a solid background in Christ as their Savior.

So I just really wanted to understand what it was that they were thinking and if they could possibly be as convinced as I was that their church was the one God wanted them attending and devoting their lives to. Admittedly, I am sure there is just a big part of me that wants to prove everybody wrong and solidify that I am 100% correct in my beliefs. Sort of a in-your-face kind of thing. But I have hope that another very large part of me just wants to reach understanding.

A cool experience with that was when I went to the krishna Temple (above) a few weeks back. I was impressed with how much the leader (I'm still not sure what to call him . . . pastor, speaker?) knew about mormon doctrine. I think that he must have been a member of the LDS church at one point because he even cited scriptures from the Doctrine and Covenants to prove some of his points. This could have just been in preparation for the many BYU students that were there because of an assignment in a world religion class or something (a class I am totally signed up for next semester :) )But the whole time I was seeing these people (the 15 or so followers that looked like they had been there many times before) that were chanting and dancing and really enjoying themselves for the moment, I could help but desire to have the light of truth that is in the perfect Gospel of Jesus Christ fill the in a way that produces the longest lasting form of happiness.

13. The faith love complex (Faith)

This whole idea on love has a very cool, and in many ways more interesting counterpart. Well, I don't know that anything is actually more interesting than love, but at least at this stage in my life it is certainly more applicable  because I'm not really in love with anyone at present.

This counterpart to my thoughts on love is faith, or belief. 

When it comes to believing I think that the general idea is that if you have to choose to believe it is almost seen as a second rate kind of belief. We want to be born believers. I feel as though it is seen that because you had to make that choice, you are acknowledging that for at least a small instance you didn't have complete faith.

The idea of ever not having a perfect faith seemed out of the realm of possibility for me pretty much my whole life. Or at least letting others know that my faith in God in the church wasn't perfect was simply not acceptable. How much of this was taught, and how much of it was just me wanting others to think higher of me? I can't yet tell. This may very well only be my prideful self that ever even has this thought (especially because the number of times that I have heard others speak of their lack of faith, or trial of faith haven't been few). Maybe the rest of the world either doesn't judge others as I have done, and doesn't thing that others are going to do the same to them, or they are humble enough to not really care, but I know that for me this feeling that either really does exist, or that I have projected onto others has forced me to claim faith that I didn't really have in the past. 

At the very least I feel as though we wan't to have faith pushed upon us and just have it overpower us, simply because that would make things a whole lot easier.

There are certainly times when we are hopelessly believing: when I have an especially good scripture study, when I hear the voice of the prophet or apostle testify, as I talk in a quite place with my brother about eternal truths that we have come to know. During those times I can actively feel the truthfulness of this gospel in me and I couldn't imagine not believing, because the feelings I am having are so overwhelming, and there isn't anything that another could possibly say.

However, there will come a time—and it always comes faster than you think it will—when you will have to make a conscious decision that you are going to continue believing. The need will arise for you to actively remember those times when you couldn’t not believe and more importantly you are going to have to make a real effort to CREATE those situation. You are going to have to put the effort forward in your studies and give the sincerity necessary in your prayers, and the time to serve those around you. 

I don't think the fact that I have to choose to believe makes it any less real- if I was simply born a believer and it so happened that I believed from the begging I think THAT would make it less real. Like it was a genetic chance or something. And as long as faith is a choice I think that it is the best one you’ll ever make. It will certainly be the most intelligent one. My choice to believe has brought more happiness and peace (things that you can’t buy or manipulate your way into) into my life than any other single decision in my entire existence. I know that God is my father and he loves me, that His son Jesus Christ is my redeemer and that he has died for me. I know that that very same Jesus chose Joseph Smith to restore the Gospel on the earth and that it is now here in its fulness. I know these things because I have been actively choosing to believe them for a long time now.


Thoughts from someone with authority:
Elder Anderson: My dear friends, your faith did not begin at birth, and it will not end at death. Faith is a choice. Strengthen your faith, and live to be deserving of the Savior’s approving words: “Great is thy faith.” As you do, I promise you that your faith, through the grace of Jesus Christ, will one day allow you to stand with those you love, clean and pure in the presence of God, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Also, here is something fun that I found about faith that I really liked while causing through the internet about faith: